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Bachelorette party dilemma. Should I go?

April 30th, 2013 at 09:45 am

I've been invited to a bachelorette party. In Puerto Rico. For the 4th of July long weekend.

Expensive, of course. Tickets there, hotel, drinks, entertainment. And we will probably have to pay for the bride (though she can definitely afford it). Not sure how that aspect works.

My DH generously offered to watch the baby all weekend by himself and does not mind me spending the money. Still, it is money that could go towards our common vacation.

Also, the only person I really know there is the bride. I've only met the others maybe once or twice.

On the other hand, it is a new experience. I've never been on an away multi-day bachelorette party you fly to. However, these people are not too wild. Bride does not even drink! (others might though).

8 Responses to “Bachelorette party dilemma. Should I go?”

  1. pretty cheap jewelry Says:

    I like to choose my OWN vacation places and dates!
    One thing to note: there will be considerable expense to attend the actual wedding, (travel and hotel if not nearby) not to mention a gift.
    Make that part of your overall decision in how much to spend.

  2. starfishy Says:

    i would check into what the weather is like in PR at that time of year. is it hot, muggy? excessively buggy? too bad the trip was not earlier this year, when an escape from winter weather would be great. i just noticed that sunset in july in PR is around 7:00p as opposed to 8:00p in NYC (no daylight savings time). did you enjoy the bride's other friends when you briefly met them? think you could have a fun weekend with them? good luck with the decision!

  3. Esozh Says:

    Puerto Rico in July... You might want to take SPF Surface of the Sun! I was stationed in Cuba in July... 100 in the shade, 120 out on the water...

    Also, I would decline. I mean, if you do go, the Bachelorette can at the very least pay her own way. That's just ridiculous - "Hey, I want a free vacation to Puerto Rico, Hey Ladies, guess where we're going - oh! And you get to pay my travel costs" I'd have some choice words if I was in your shoes...

  4. CB in the City Says:

    Is this a financial decision or a will-I-really-have-fun decision? It sounds like you can afford it but don't know if it will be worth it. If you don't know most of the partygoers, the fun factor is a gamble. I myself would not be inclined, but I am A) an introvert and B) poor. I would probably focus more on the wedding.

  5. Ima saver Says:

    Personally, I would not go. I hated Puerto Rico when I was there.

  6. Jenn Says:

    I wouldn't do it. There's always an opportunity cost - by spending your money there, you're opting to give up spending it on something more meaningful.

  7. PatientSaver Says:

    Yeah, if you don't really know anyone else there except the bride, I'd skip it and put the money toward your vacay with DH. I'm sure the resort or whatever will be quite nice, but if it was me, i'd rather go to a place like that with someone who's close to me, so it's meaningful.

  8. EarlyRetirementJoy Says:

    The only thing I would add to what others have provided, it that feeling obligated to go should be no part of your decision making process. An invitation like this is not so much an invitation, as it is a request for money. Not much I would find very flattering about that at all!

    If you want to go because it sounds fun, then go. Otherwise, "I'm so sorry, I'm unable to make this event" should suffice just fine.

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