What we are all doing here is keeping focused on our finances. To what degree does it help our general feeling of happiness?
On one hand, it helps us feel more secure and in control, and that's a good thing.
But, it is also driving us to want more? It can be a good thing, but to what degree? Does wanting to do a little bit better carry an implication that where we now, is not good enough?
I know we are doing fine (covering our bills and saving 15-20% of our salary for retirement).
We are getting good returns on our investments. But it makes me anxious to do better.
I know it is not rational. Perhaps it is wanting a house, with a small back yard. In New York City. That is a tall order.
It is really hard to measure your progress objectively when you are surrounded by rich people and wealth is everywhere. Running through my residential Bronx neighborhood, past little houses in a green area (1.4-2.5 million average price, with some a lot more, but nothing under a million), one kind of dreams of having that green yard and a village feel. Most of them are not mansions(those are 6-9 mil and up), they are typically 1,100-1800sf, but they are houses on land, where you, not the co-op board, have control.
Am I robbing myself from being truly happy? I mean we are secure, we contribute to retirement, and I have a wonderful child and husband, and am I expanding too much mental energy on this? Life is short, and is this focus something that takes away from other areas and makes one feel a little less satisfied?
Are my desires unreasonable?
I was watching a video of a little boy who lost his mom and dad sing a song about mom, and I was crying. And it made me feel how silly it is to be so focused on saving another $100, in the grand scheme of things...
I don't know, I'm feeling a bit conflicted on how focused we should really be on acquiring more.
Is it a mindset that our society has - to strive to have more, and does it give a proportionate return in happiness?
Should we all just be HAPPY here?
July 2nd, 2014 at 04:02 pm
July 2nd, 2014 at 04:11 pm 1404317507
July 2nd, 2014 at 04:49 pm 1404319785
And then, the question is -- does fulfilling that desire really make us happier, or do we just proceed to the next level of want? I think we all have to work to appreciate and be grateful for the gifts that are already in our hands, or happiness is not possible.
As a fundraising professional, I am surrounded by wealthy people also. I stopped envying them a long time ago, since it's pretty clear they are only as happy as they choose to be, just like the rest of us.
Sorry I got so philosphical -- it's a question I've been pondering, too!
July 2nd, 2014 at 04:55 pm 1404320155
To get to the level of affordability that is not impacted by NYC, you have to go past the 2+ hour commute each way. I have good percentage of co-workers that commute over 4 hours a day to have a house, but they either don't have kids, or have grown kids. I want to keep my commute to not much more than 2 hours a day for each of us.
July 2nd, 2014 at 05:14 pm 1404321291
July 2nd, 2014 at 05:21 pm 1404321705
July 2nd, 2014 at 05:29 pm 1404322193
July 2nd, 2014 at 05:29 pm 1404322198
Here, a very modest house is just out of our reach. It is not impossibly out of our reach. Maybe if we made a massive push and stretched thin, and made more money, we can get that million dollar house and grow into it being more comfortable.
But is it a right choice? Would it be a choice that propels us further, as housing keeps appreciating in an unstoppable way. Maybe that would do wonders for our net worth down the line, and having an actual family house, one could pass on to generations would be something amazing.
July 2nd, 2014 at 08:38 pm 1404333496
But... there are people who are in serious debt and have to pay off that debt or their financial future is in serious trouble. Living for today is great, but you have to save for tomorrow, too.
As for the house and NYC, etc... there are so many tradeoffs. We make sacrifices in salary to live where we live (we love it here - the culture, the mountains, the outdoor lifestyle). We'd certainly be making more elsewhere. Or making the same and housing would be cheaper. You've made tradeoffs to live in NYC. I think we're both ok with the sacrifices we've made. I wish we made more so that we could afford to live closer to downtown in an equivalent house (which for us would not be out of reach but would mean another 15 year mortgage), but I have to remind myself that in a few years this will be a very nice paid-off house. Trade-offs!
July 7th, 2014 at 12:05 am 1404691522