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Luxuries that others take for granted.

January 25th, 2009 at 05:23 am

For anyone who thinks that my vacations and entertainment expenses are extravagant, here is another way to look at our lifestyle.

While we can afford things that others may not, I cannot afford things that many take for granted. Here are some of them:

A yard. Any yard, even 8x8' is a luxury. Or a balcony, a terrace... any outdoor space at all.

A tree outside the window.

Reserved parking space near your residence.

Commute of less than 3 hours a day. People who commute less than that and complain drive me crazy.

More than one bathroom in the apartment - amazing luxury! - not even friends with over million dollars in the bank have that. But people outside NYC almost expect it. "I have kids so we couldn't make it with one bathroom." Yes, you could, it is just not as much fun. But second bathroom is a luxury, not a basic need.

A kitchen that could fit a dining table over 31" in diameter. People don't appreciate it. New Yorkers understand. Today I served brunch to 5 people on that table and it was completely normal for everyone, as their apartments are similar.

A walk-in closet - ohhhhhhh.

A washer and a dryer!

And in general - SPACE. 800sf would be fine with us even if we had a baby. 1000sf would make me completely happy. 1200sf would make me feel like a queen. (in the city, that is).

So if I was not spending 20K a year on getaways and was saving the money instead, it would not bring me much closer to owning an 800sf co-op at ($1,000-$1,400 per square foot with 1k+ monthly maintenance on top of that.) Neither would few thousand dollars a year spend on eating out. So I max out retirement, but don't feel all that hopeful about homeownership and just live entertainment rich life. What else am I to do?

But no, I don't want to move from NYC. So I guess I am not willing to give up the life I have now for house bliss and these luxuries. But I just wanted to remind people that these are luxuries that they are lucky to enjoy and not necessities. That people can adjust to live without them. I think a lot of these things are taken for granted by those who have them.

15 Responses to “Luxuries that others take for granted.”

  1. Thrifty Ray Says:
    1232861533

    3 hour commute a day...you have my sincere sympathies. I commute 25 min each way...but not in traffic. Over a river, past a local monument, past a cattle ranch...and on a short fwy jaunt (no traffic)...I could not imagine traveling with congestion and chaos..IMO, you deserve whatever vacation you can afford.

    We have 1 1/2 baths, 2 acres of old oak trees (at least 40 of them) we have a nice dining area...house is about 2k sq ft...our 3 labs have a 60x60 pen to run in....and it is about 10 minutes to the wide open spaces...30-1 hour to lakes, mountains. etc....my house pymt...$1200 per month. You have made me realize how blessed I am...thank you!

  2. Nika Says:
    1232863972

    Ray, and we live only 14 miles away from my work(midtown Manhattan) and 50 miles from DH's work.

    It takes us the same amount of time to commute. I use public transport (couldn't park in midtown and traffic is horrible) and DH hits guaranteed traffic daily going across Staten Island.

  3. whitestripe Says:
    1232885866

    you made me think a little about my own lifestyle.
    we are trading renting (at $420 per week) a 500m2 block, 4 bedroom home with 2 bathrooms, 2 streets away from the beach, 7 minute drive to work for me, 5 minute drive to work for DF, suburbia, modern home (less than 5 yr old), large modern kitchen, huge dining area, huge lounge, double lock up garage

    for

    4 bedroom 30 year old home with one bathroom, for approx $470 a week or more ($320k), a quarter of an acre lot, 30 minute drive to work for me, 25 minute drive for DF, 35 minute drive to the beach, small kitchen that's ten years old, small dining area, an area that we will have to CHANGE into a double lockup garage.

    i've realised we are gaining a lot, and sacrificing a lot at the same time. i guess it is just up to the person to make that call and feel comfortable with it.

  4. Amber Says:
    1232890275

    Great post. Wow 3 hour commute, I guess my 15 minute commute is the best..I should stop complaining

  5. gamecock43 Says:
    1232891968

    yeah I guess we are all paying for some headaches...I never thought of it that way.

  6. homebody Says:
    1232893899

    3 hour commute for 14 miles, OMG! I live about 5 miles from my work, takes me 8 minutes to get there. You are right, we are blessed to have our 1600 square foot home on a large lot with a huge Japanese maple tree in the backyard with room to garden. Oh wait I already knew that from being addicted to the Apartment Therapy web site! Love the smallest, coolest contest each year.

  7. Koppur Says:
    1232895760

    I was commuting 2/5 hrs each way, so I understand the frustration when people with a half hour commute complain. Personally, I think it is ridiculous when a couple states they need at least 2 bedrooms. My childhood house had 1 very small bathroom and the 4 of us got along just fine. IMO, a second bathroom only brings more housework.

  8. Ima saver Says:
    1232897115

    You are right. we are blessed. I live in a 3200 sq. foot house with 2 1/2 baths and another one in the seperate garage. We are on 2 acres with a creek too. I love living in the country.

  9. NJDebbie Says:
    1232897527

    Great post! I'm about an hour away for NYC, in the northwest part of NJ. My property taxes I consider to be ridiculous ($8,000 a year), but I do live in a 2000 sq. feet house with and 2.5 bath, rec room and inground pool. It takes me 25 minutes to get to work and I'm hardly ever stuck in trafic. As of today, I will not complained and will count my blessings!

  10. Ralph Says:
    1232897786

    I was just appreciating what I have as I was letting my dog out the back door. I love the view from our laundry room window, even if all it is is typical suburbia. I like our comfy and fairly modest house and my half hour commute. We don't have the money for nice vacations, but I've resigned myself to that. For now I can travel via the Internet or on business. Nice post, it definitely makes sense to accentuate the positive, especially for those of us who worry too much.

  11. scfr Says:
    1232898856

    Yes - For most of us, life is about trade offs. I owned a home for a few years and hope to own one again, but for much of my adult life I have lived in apartments of the small variety. (Smaller the better when renting as far as I'm concerned.) So, I know from personal experience that there are blessings to both. As you say, best to focus on the luxuries of your current life instead of envying what others have.
    For those of us who live in little apartments, there are lots of luxuries, and they mostly have to do with the precious gift of time:
    - Being able to get away with cleaning only on the weekends.
    - Not having to repair the roof, siding, etc after a storm blows through.
    - Not having to maintain the building's structures or yard.
    - Having a perfectly acceptable reason not to have the in-laws come stay with you.
    For one year when I was a child, the 6 of us lived in a 2-BR apartment. We 4 kids shared 1 bedroom...My "bed" was a foam pad on the floor. I just entering adolesence and I will admit that was tough. That was the one living arrangement of my life that I could not find a way to feel good about. Now, as long as I don't have to sleep more than 3 to a room, and I have a real bed or a decent futon to sleep on, I'm hunky-dory.

  12. HouseHopeful Says:
    1232900214

    Great post! Different locations mean different expectations for homes. And looking at your post, I feel lucky to have some of the extras that I do Smile

  13. Phenomenal Woman Says:
    1232915494

    Totally understand! I live in the Bay Area. My communte and my husband's each is 2 hours ( 1 hour one way so 2 hours total each day each). Right now we do not take much vacations as we are tied down with gas and home payments and the high expenses the Bay Area offers.

  14. Analise Says:
    1232937621

    Nika, I totally understand where you are coming from. My nephew and his wife (and three-week-old baby) live in a 600 sq. ft. 5th floor walk-up in Manhattan. It has a tiny kitchen, one bathroom, no balcony, no laundry facility. They love it because it's rent-controlled and in a prime area. And, most of all, it's NYC, a city that's alive 24/7. They think of the city as an extension of their home. They spend a lot on eating out and enjoying what the city has to offer. They also take frequent vacations, but they earn good salaries and can afford this lifestyle. Someday maybe they will have their own apartment, but for now they are happy and their commute is reasonable since she works in Manhattan and he works in White Plains. And, yes, to them 1000 sq. ft. seems huge. It's definitely a trade off.

  15. ceejay74 Says:
    1232986405

    I completely agree that big houses are luxuries, not necessities, no matter what most Americans have been conditioned to think. I have 950 sq ft, 2 bedrooms, which I think is quite luxurious compared to all the apartments I've lived in, yet we have the smallest home of any of our friends, even the single people! We fully plan to have 2 kids there, and while we may get a 3-BR place when we move to England, they will be tiny, closetlike bedrooms I'm sure--and we'll pay dearly for the luxury.

    Cars are also a luxury. We don't have a car, and when we're looking for employment, entertainment, healthcare providers and even sustainable friendships, we can only consider things that are in walking distance or on the bus line. It can be done, and you can live well, yet people say that you "must" have a car because of this or that. Nope, but you'd have to adjust your lifestyle significantly if you didn't have one.

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