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Home > So many neighbors with financial problems.

So many neighbors with financial problems.

September 21st, 2009 at 07:08 am

I live in a small apartment building and I happen to know financial situations of many neighbors, and I happen to be only one without debt (with the exception of a student loan).

Their problems range from cc debt, to months behind on rent, to collection issues...

I know that the landlord does not take checks from one of my neighbors, requiring that he be paid by a money order.

They sometimes ask my advice on these things. However, they only ask advice on how to deal with the consequences. They don't see at all that the underlining issue is that they are living a lifestyle they can't afford. It is like one gigantic blind spot.

And of course, I cannot volunteer that kind of unsolicited advice to people I have to see on a regular basis. (My mom is an exception to that rule -- she will love me no matter what Smile and I care about her, so I take her problems close to heart.

But I still find amazing how much these people spend. That while I won't buy $800 worth of make-up and perfume in Bloomingdales in ONE trip, but someone who makes minimum wage can feel they need it.

But most of them are very nice people. Helpful, social, friendly, compassionate. They simply don't understand that they are being financially irresponsible. They think that debt is normal.

They also ask each other for short-term loans. It is considered normal to borrow few bucks until payday.

While DH and I never discuss what we bought or how much we make, it is evident that we do ok. Maybe because we don't complain or ever need to borrow money? Or maybe because they know where I work.

In any case, next Friday I should be paid back $250 from people in my building who needed the money to pay the bills due before the next payday. I am not worried about it at all(these types of loans will always be honored by them) and it is no inconvenience for me. It is just a difference in mentality.

And having to fight the itch to comment on their financial tales. Repeating to myself: "It is none of my business, it is none of my business."

5 Responses to “So many neighbors with financial problems. ”

  1. whitestripe Says:
    1253523734

    it is hard to bite your tongue, when all you're really trying to do is help. the only person, other than family obviously, that i have helped with finances has been a close friend of mine. we weren't close friends at that time, in fact we'd only just met, but she asked me for help. she'd never succesfully completed a budget before then, in all her previous attempts she had gotten frustrated halfway through and thrown it in the bin. so i made her finish it even though it wasn't pretty (she was overspending by TWICE her wage each week!) and now she's much better Smile

  2. fern Says:
    1253536904

    Personally, i would feel free to give them blunt advice, since they have already involved you in their financial affairs if you're giving them loans.

  3. Broken Arrow Says:
    1253538573

    If you feel close enough to them, perhaps you can gently impress upon the idea of cutting back. At best, it may make a life-alternating change for a better future for them. At worst, they'll feel so insulted that they'll leave you alone.

  4. creditcardfree Says:
    1253570622

    Here's my thought after reading your post.

    Have you thought you might be enabling them? They may say to themselves while standing at the makeup counter..."I can just ask Brooklyn Girl for a short term. She won't mind." Yes, in the long run they are only hurting themselves. But do you want to be a party to that. I wouldn't. Just something to think about.

  5. LuxLiving Says:
    1253578037

    You are a far more trusting soul than I would be!!

    I'd be telling folks, you ask me for a loan and I will give you GOOD ADVICE to go with. No listen to sermon? No cashy!!!

    But, admittedly, I'm not very good at loaning money!

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