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We are compelled to eat out. I don't know alternatives.

December 7th, 2011 at 03:57 am

Not even because I really really want to eat out. It is just we want to spend time by ourselves.

The only way we get to do that is when my mom visits for few hours to take care of the baby. 7-9pm on a weekday and one day on a weekend.

That's after work, it is dark outside, it is cold and empty (not a time for walks in deserted parks).

We are tired, we need to eat. Staying and cooking in the apartment is not too great. My mom is using our tiny kitchen to making dinner for baby. We can only eat in the living room and baby will be trying to climb us and demand to try what we have. Plus, her husband is usually there too... So we go out because it is a break, because we get to take a breath, spend time together. Food is secondary (though I do like a nice draft beer, like Magic Hat #9 or a nice margarita). So while I do not have that urge to eat out for the sake of food we do it often because it is a matter of opportunity. And the costs are pretty high.

9 Responses to “We are compelled to eat out. I don't know alternatives.”

  1. Tightwad Kitty Says:
    1323250488

    The only way we get to do that is when my mom visits for few hours to take care of the baby. 7-9pm on a weekday and one day on a weekend
    It would be getting expensive if you are eating out every time your mom comes over, what look like 6 days week.

    You may need to change this routine if its that much!

    I think you need to make your baby meals most times.

  2. littlegopher Says:
    1323261435

    I read this as happening two days a week...

    I remember with my own kids, my favorite grandparent babysitting was when they went to grandma and grandpa's house! My husband and I really preferred being at our own house.

    I'm assuming logistics on that wouldn't work out, so have no newsbreaking solutions. Maybe pack a dinner to eat near the end of your workdays, so you've eaten, and then visit free or inexpensive museums, etc. Maybe a snack out (like coffee and a treat) and eat later at home? Not sure if that's too late.

    Mostly, I'll commiserate - it's hardest when kids are little, but good for you on getting time together with your husband and grandma spending time with the little one!

  3. HouseHopeful Says:
    1323261863

    I read this as 1 weekday night and 1 weekend day. My suggestion would be to possibly look to do other things and just eat a quick bite at home - take a walk around the mall (and leave your wallets in the car! LOL), visit a bookstore and get just coffee while browsing books that can later be requested at the library? Things like that. If you are concerned about spending the money.

  4. EarlyRetirementJoy Says:
    1323267679

    HouseHopeful,

    Oh, I really like the bookstore idea! Economical, warm, and you can stay as long as you want without being bothered to give up your table. I also love the idea of jotting down book titles to access later on via the free public library. My DH and I are going to adopt this one pronto!

    Another thought would be to visit a self-serve deli, fast food joint, or similar, and split a single meal? Similar to bookstore cafes, no one seems to care at these places if you split your meal, drink free water, and stay at your table for hours on end.

    Also, in my state Taco Tuesday is very popular, and my DH and I can generally eat out for under $5.00, which gets us about five small tacos, rice and water. We try to walk there from our home to make it a multi hour event that also allows us to enjoy some fresh air after a hectic day. Not sure if Brooklyn has embraced this promo?

  5. MonkeyMama Says:
    1323271145

    I'd forget eating out and just focus on something else. For example, just getting a drink or coffee. I know drinks are not cheap, but sure beats paying for dinner for two.

  6. Nika Says:
    1323273828

    "I think you need to make your baby meals most times."
    Baby gets a fresh hot meal every time. Whoever takes care of him (DH, me, my mom or once a week DH's mom) cooks him a meal.
    He eats very healthy and nothing gets frozen. Fresh unprocessed meal every time. Organic, fresh, varied and gourmet. It really takes a lot of effort, but we very consciously want to build great nutritional foundation for his health and habits.

    It is about 2-3 times a week we go out. Plus, we go out with DH's mom occasionally (she treats).
    And still, we always go over the amount allocated for eating out, even in months when DH is out on a business trip for over a week.
    We just can't seem to make it under $400 a month (that is 2 meals for week to be $50 or less). It is pretty impossible to get a reasonably good meal with a drink for that.
    Before we had the baby and the apartment we spent over 1K every month eating out, so we did cut a lot. (we just don't have that money available).

    In manhattan, I do get fast food for lunch (Places like Pret a Manger, Le Pain Quotidien, Chipotle, vietnamese sandwitches, etc... These must be reasons for my weight gain. Almond croissants from Pret are hard to avoid in the morning -- I swear there are more of those than Starbucks - 5 within walking distance from my office.
    Anyhow, there are none near us, and these places are lunch, and I am really tired of them, they are not a treat and relaxation.

    The thing is, when we get a break, we want to go out and enjoy ourselves. Relax, sit down, lean back... I know it seems often, but to us breaks seem precious. Our little sunshine gets up at like 6:30, weekend or not. We go to bed at 1am. So getting "off duty" for 2 hours (40min of which, minimum, will be driving) is tempting.

    DH picks me up from the train station and we go straight from there. If I stop by home, mom does not have the ability to let us be, she will always find something to do or to ask, or will go into cooking an elaborate 5 course dinner for baby and will need our assistance... So stopping by home means we won't get out for a while.

    My mom lives about 1.5 hours away (each way). So driving baby there after work is just not an option. Poor little guy already drives over an hour each way on days he goes to daycare. He already is a New Yorker with long commute.

    Going to museums involves going to manhattan and parking near a museum. And these are generally not museum hours and time allotted not nearly enough to enjoy a museum. Plus, they are not free. They can be quite pricey. Bookstore or mall is a good idea if we have a stretch of time on a weekend.

    Still, I am challenging myself to cut some of the food spending (which presently is about $1,500 a month, and that is considering DH was on business trips for 8 days with his food covered by per diem and us not going out a week, my mom brining a lot of groceries to make meals for the baby, and his mom treating out to few meals). And yet...

    So this month I will try to concentrate to cut food spending (without compromising quality of it, that's the tough part).

    EaryRetirement, we are no longer in Brooklyn, we live in Bronx now (Riverdale).

  7. LuckyRobin Says:
    1323303282

    Do you have a library that stays open until 9? Often times they will have free concerts, lectures, slide shows, or other activities and it is a nice, warm place to stay. DH and I used to go to high school and middle school plays. It cost a little, but it was much cheaper than dinner out or the cost of professional plays. We would check the local school calendars online for concerts (which were usually free) or talent shows (a small fee). Every once in a while we will go to a high school basketball game or football game (again, so much cheaper than college or professional) and we enjoy the band and the cheerleaders and the drill or flag teams at the half time show.

  8. baselle Says:
    1323325952

    I read that you are looking for ideas to get cheap nourishment and ways to spend time together. Perhaps its a time to re-think. I would find fun things to do or see that just happen to serve food and drink. Even free or free-ish food will free up a little bit of cash for 1 round of drinks. The old classic is the wine and nibbles at a gallery show; perhaps you have neighborhood events that you want to attend that serve a little something. I'd also think of alternate places to get food other than a restaurant - food cart, grocery store, coffeeshop, even "finish your lunch" get together in a park. - Some of this stuff will work better when its warmer and during longer days.

  9. whitestripe Says:
    1323827496

    are there any park-type places you can go? public spaces? near music or shows or something like that? most cities have places like that. could you not take a picnic for dinner and go there?

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