Brooklyn Girl's Personal Finance Blog

I was watching this addictive British dark drama “Luther” I bought on itunes and it got to me reflect on something...

The main character of the show, Luther, is a detective played by a dark skinned black man (great actor, btw, his character is totally fascinating).

What I found amazingly different from American shows, is that there is no reference to his race anywhere in the show. No mention regarding his wife being of a different race, no background on how being black shaped him, to his “belonging” anywhere, no special behaviors attributed to him because of his race, no mentioning of “overcoming” something as a black man... nothing of the sort.

Basically, he is just treated and seen as a man, not as a “black man” by every other character on the show, and, therefore, by the viewer. Comparing to American shows, I found that amazing!

If you watched the show and you are an American, you’d probably understand what I’m talking about. I don’t know anything about race relations in England, but from this show it seems very different.

In our society, it is implied that history has shaped that man or woman personally, that people belong to a different culture based on their skin color, and that a person of different skin color will never really understand or belong.

That separates people, maybe not intentionally, but there is a psychological effect to emphasizing ones race, positively or negatively, it still tells people that they are different because of their skin color. It is the lesson we learn from school age.

What is racism at the basic root of it if not seeing a person through the color prism of their skin?
Is celebrating accomplishments of black people a completer reversal of having negative stereotypes, or does it contribute to teaching that there is a difference?

But again, what do I know, I’m not black.

Anyway, these are just some random thoughs... It bothered me that I found it so unusual that a character was treated like a character and just seen as a person, not as defined by his race. That it is more of an exception in the shows that I've seen than the rule. So I wanted post my thoughts and find out what other people think. (I hope it won't blow up into something ugly.)

I want to. I really want to.

Not that I have no money, what I mean is I have no money allocated for ski vacation this year. (I don't want to take it out of other places. EF is EF, ROTH must be funded, etc...)

I have never before been out west.

I am now in planning stages:

1. Free great childcare is arranged between 2 grandmothers (we'll be going without the baby this time).

2. I booked hotel in Vail FREE with points. Hotel room booked with money for those dates totals up for $2400 before taxes, so this is huge savings. But the rest of the expences are challenging. So I am racking my brain as to cut them down and make it happen. So far estimates are not encouraging. (I can cancell my hotel with no penalty and gets the points back for another month or longer)

So my estimate to what is needed:

fees if booking airfare with miles (2x)
$150 (maybe, maybe not)

checked luggage 2 bags each
$25+$25+$35+35= $120

midday lodge breaks (x6) warming up with beer, sometimes snack
$150

food daily $100 per day
$700

shuttle to/from airport -
$51 (4x) +tip $220

ski rental 6 days 2 people
$400 (more if demo skis)

lift tickets $519 x 2
$1038

taxi to and from the airport at home
$100

$3,047
Sigh
That does not sound right considering airfare and hotel is free...

So far I only have $760 in the ski2012 fund (I planned for local skiing only).

I got $300 from my credit union Visa. It will go to the vacation fund. Sadly, it is not due to a sign in bonus, it is just straight 1% cashback reward.

My Asian vacation is almost funded (I hope it happens, that is largely up to my employer).

Now I am obsessing about a ski vacation this winter. I want to go to Vail!!! I missed last season entirely (newborn) so a week long vacation is now seems like an ultimate luxury (before the baby it would barely register as a break).

Can't apply for any of the cards that want to throw miles at us (75,000 Delta miles for opening Amex, $300 from Chase freedom...) because we just applied to refinance our mortage. Can't take a chance of dinging our credit scores when the stakes are that high.

It has been a long time -- first DH was on a business trip, than our car was not drivable (windshield gone) and it took a week to fix since the place was busy after the storm.

So on friday night my mom came over to watch the baby for a few hours and we met up with some friends in Queens Chinatown.



We had Sichuanese hotpot in a basement hole-in-the wall place that housed a bunch of cheap eateries. It was crowded, but you'd never find it if you didn't know about it.







My Chinese friends said it was an authentic place (they are not Sichuanese though). Unfortunately it was not authentic and not anywhere as good -- I lived in Sichuan for over 6 months so I know. But I still enjoyed the evening -- we were out and in good company.

Cost.
$12 Beers (you buy outside and drink there)
$40 all you can eat for 2 ppl with tip

parking (street) don't remember... cheap.

This is some cool art I saw for sale in a Chinese mall nearby:

So this week:

I listed and sold an item on ebay (it only had 6 views but sold quickly). 2 Sferra Pillow shams. I sold them at fixed price for $80 plus $8 shipping. I don't know how much ebay will take, but I already paid $14 for shipping (I am really not good at estimating since I have no experience). So I guess I made around $60 after ebay gets paid. Not much, but I did not need them, and they were just taking up space, so selling them was a right thing.

DH went to a focus group today. They paid $125 for hour and a half (it took hour and a half to get there and back. And he spent $20 to buy us ribs from the restaurant next to the place. So profit maybe $80-$90.

(He also made $300 Delta bucks coming back from his trip on Sunday.
And he made gold status with them, so that should save us some money on future benefits.)

plus 40 hours of comp. time from his trip. This has value beyond money -- the hours he earns he spends for the needs of the baby. Staying home with him when he is sick, or needs routine appointments, or we don't want to drive the baby far to daycare if the weather is dangerous... We are managing all of these things without any childcare expenses for a year now -- and the main thing is that the baby is getting great care.

So I am making extra payments on my student loan and the way it updates my account is driving me crazy.

The pay off date never changes! When I make an extra payment, it just moves the due date of my next payment further (and yes, I do apply it to the principle, not just to sit there for no reason until the next payment). So I see the principle go down, but pay off date never approaches on their generated calculators.

So I would have to calculate myself if I want to know.

Lately, they even added two choices for when you make an extra payment, with complex wording (and the default one is not the one to apply money towards the principle).

This is not helping.

I notice I have been thinking about all sorts of bold risky moves lately (not to mention bought 2 apple stock options to the tune of $6,800 that are looking quite risky right now. (too bad I did not agree when my husband wanted to buy Google at stock option when it was at $500 a share, now with 600 a share we would have made close to 10K in few weeks (( ) , we may loose or make little on the Apple one.

Anyhow, I keep thinking that we have to do something more bold, that we won't make much progress otherwise, the way things are. I obviously don't have the money to try all these things, not sure if I can even do one, but there is something in me that is making me obsess about it right now.

Taking 30 years to pay off 1.5 bedroom apartment just seems like not enough progress. I really want to do something more. I don't know what.

So I discovered today there is an amazingly cheap apartment in my building on the same floor. It is in a horrible shape (hence the cheapness) but my moms DH is a contractor who has enough skills to make it into a candy for just the cost of materials.

My mom, who is taking 2 hours each way to come from Brooklyn to see the baby (she adores the baby) would of course like to live here, but she has no money. The building requires 20% down.

What frustrates me is she gets upset at me for not selling a property I inherited in another country to give her the down payment. In her mind, that is the ONLY WAY dowpayment can happen. I just can't get through to her on that point. She just does not believe that money can or should be saved, it is to come as a lump sum windfall only. I am the foolish one here. She just really believes that something like that cannot come from savings. That you can't expect her to save that much.

She has not a cent saved. She does not believe she spends anything or does anything extravagant, and yet she has no money.

Her husband and her make around 120K a year and their rent is $600 a month! (he works for the building after hours).

They should be able to save for a down payment rather fast if they wanted to and just looked where the money is going.

And they have nothing saved! A cheap Suzuki with payments, and a closet full of clothing are all their assets. Money just flows as water through their fingers. Nothing in retirement. I tried so many times, but I can't convince her that she won't be able to live on Social Security -- she just does not want to think about it. If she at least had a paid off apartment, it would be something. And she could, if she just wanted to, but she just believes it is impossible and ridiculous that I even suggest it.

We were supposed to go out and spend Saturday roaming free, than we had a hotel night booked. My MIL was staying over with the baby. I was soo looking forward to it.

We came down to the garage (we have an outdoor spot) to get our car and found this:









Our 10 month old new car

Than we tried to deal with it (tried to tape plastic bags to the windshield so that water won't go inside, try to find an indoor spot to move it to... Try to get in and move it there. Took hours. By the time we got to the hotel in my mom's car it was 10pm.

If we only left few minutes earlier and all this would not have happened.

Oh, and we have no glass coverage.

Two relatives gave us some money for upcoming birthday for our baby (which is tomorrow).
I am wondering how to best invest them.

We already have an ESA account (that one was no-brainer since it can be used for any education needs, inculing private high school, middle school, even elementary).
I am debating if 529 plan is worth the hustle. I is kind of restrictive and counts against financial aid.

Givers gave no wishes or restrictions as to how the want the gift used, we could do whatever we see fit. Since we are able to cashflow all babys expenses I wanted to save it for him.

He won't need it for another 17 years.
I don't know. Maybe stock of something solid (like Apple) or SP500 fund? If I open it in his name as a custodian taxable account, will I have to pay taxes upon withdrawal at the babies tax rate or ours?

I keep seeing these annoying guidelines that say you should spend "30% of your income on housing, 10% savings, 15% debt repayment, etc..)

While I find them ridiculous because they imply "one fits all" approach, while one can be a family with no kids vs. 4 kids, middle-of-nowhere vs. HCOL, 20 year old vs 70, etc...)
Or if person A spends 30% on housing and 15% on debt repayment, are they really better off than the one who spends spends nothing on debt repayment and 45% on housing? Most financial experts would only yell at the person #2, because he wouldn't fit the chart.

I wanted to make a pie graph of our budget just out of curiosity. But I wonder how these things are calculated. I assume this goes for after-tax figure.

But some things come out pre-tax. I don't count health insurance premiums. I mean 401K, health spending accounts, dependent care accounts.
Would I count the numbers that I receive as a benefit or the money it would have been post-tax? And does it gets mixed in together in the pie chart?

For example, say you put 1K a month in your 401K. If you didn't, you would have $650 more in your take-home pay.
So should you consider that $1,000 is going to your savings(because it is actually going to your saving) or that $650 is going to your savings because this is what you are deducting from your take home salary to the savings category?

Same with pre-tax childcare and medical expences, which would be under "life" category. But if you count pre-tax expences/savings together with post tax without adjusting, it may appear that your salary is actually larger than it is. But if not, than you are not accounting for the actual money you get to spend or contribute.

Your thoughts?

This was our first year with our first baby, so I am proud that we accomplished these goals.

ROTH me $5,000 funded
ROTH DH $5,000 funded
ESA for baby $2,000 funded
student loan brought under $16,000 mark (will reach that goal in 2 weeks)

all electronics nearing the end of life cycle replaced (macbook, camera, cell phones) Won't need to replace anything next year)

and most importantly, between time off, work from home, careful planning and scheduling, and getting into DH's employers daycare after 18 months of waiting... we managed to cash-flow childcare expenses for 2011 without dipping into savings.

So we got DH's new paycheck and it now smaller.

We started deductions for baby's dependent care flexible spending account.

We are deducting the full $5,000 between now and December 31 (we can spend the money until end of March). That way we can do another $5,000 next year. Deducting it pre-tax saves more than 1/3 of that money.

So it is a money-saving thing, but check is now smaller.

With dependent care deductions, flex health spending account and 401K being deducted the check seems so small. It is a psychological thing. I do understand these things are benefits that save money. It is just when you transfer money after getting a paycheck, you get a different feeling than you do when you get a smaller one.

So this week my baby is sick all week. He is very grumpy, suffering, and of course can't go to daycare. We had to manage to stay home all week with him. Days off all around.

My husband was quite sick on one day.

I now got my baby's cold.

Apple stock option went down.

My new iPhone was stolen out of the box.

Got assigned a task at work that I quite dislike.

I found out that refinancing would cost $3,300, so it probably does not make much sense.

A bunch of other small things kept happening that waste few hours or few dollars...

One good thing happen though -- DH was excused from jury duty.

I am very pissed. I received the package with just an iPhone box in it.
They took the phone itself and everything else, and just left the empty box and the paperwork in the package.

Just a reminder how much human garbage there is in this world.

And btw, it is not usable as jail breaking it is extremely difficult, so only someone who does it on a scale in an organized way could possibly do it.

I was anticipating getting my new phone so much (my current one sucks). Never did I imagine getting this "lucky".

I wonder if watching ones money and knowing how hard it is to save affects how people give.
Because, the reality is, it does delay reaching ones goals. I think it has been affecting me.

Life is a combination making right choices, work ethic, personality, but sometimes it is just the luck of the draw.

I am LUCKY that my baby is OK. That I have great medical insurance and access to medical care. That is why one of my sons is alive and healthy today. If I did not have access to the best medical technology in the world(and no, I don't mean US medical care, I mean medical care you can get in NYC with a caddilac of insurance plans and best doctors and latest equipment to do a procedure that maybe 3 patients a year undergo), I don't know how my life would have turned out.

Imagine being a mom in a third world country who's 6 month old needed an extremely complicated heart surgery to live and was slowly and quietly getting worse and worse while they desperately try to raise money for the surgery in Germany. We are lucky not to be in her place, of helplessly watching your baby wasting away when she could be saved. I am sitting here crying. (they did raise enough money, now they are trying to get through the red tape and transport the baby to the clinic before it is too late. They are racing against time and the baby is barely holding on).

But there are so many more invisible children, children that we will never hear about, that will suffer quietly and their life won't be changed
and helpless people who are not in a position to help themselves. I wish the world was not like that.

I should help somebody this month, even with a tiny drop in the sea. That's the money I won't be able to put into savings, but I should do it.

It is a lot that one has to save every year. These are savings goals that we view as mandatory and must be met each year.

5,000 roth me
5,000 roth DH
2,000 baby's ESA
5,000 to DH's 401K (slightly above full match) We used to max this out at 15,500 but not after I got pregnant.

These are set in stone and have to be met, because these are limited-time opportunities. If we don't invest for the current year, that opportunity is gone forever.

plus $250 monthly autoinvest into a mutual fund, which is part of our emergency fund, which could be stop but trying not to. The market has been dipping, so we need to continue to invest to compensate and keep EF at a steady number. It is more important to invest when the market is down than it is when it is up.

401K comes out of the paycheck pre-tax, and it is a small enough number.

but the post-tax ones come out to 5K+5K+2K=12K, is 1K a month mandatory +$250 post-tax

That number does not work with our budget, it just does not, but we have been managing somehow so far.

I did not think we'd be able to make it the year of my pregnancy, or after the baby was born, but we did.

2011 is fully funded!!! Now I don't know how we'll do it next year.

I guess the key is not to give up and just do what you can. $100 here, $200 there... eventually it adds up to something.

So even though I don't see how we can possibly max out 2012, we'll keep trying this year as well, taking it one year at a time.

Why do I listen if I don't like him?

Simple -- there is just not enough financial reality shows that glimpse into the financial situation of ordinary people. So I listen for the calls, those tiny financial snapshot of random people all over the country, their lives and problems.

But lately there have been less and less calls and more and more political rants and non-stop self-promotion. I mean really, stop spending like 15 minutes each show advertizing yourself! That is just too much by any standards.

Suzie orman is also aggrivating to no end, don't even get me started, "girlfriend". But I don't know other financial shows with regular people call-ins.

Ok, now my rant is over.

Added $335 more to "vacation 2012" fund.

The new numbers are:

Trip to Asia $5,700 estimated need
Vacation Fund account -$4,936 saved
-$250 in amex cheques
$514 left to save

Asia vacation shopping fund
$900 wanted
-$300 saved
$600 to go


Local skiing: $750 (fully funded)

Week long ski trip $0 Funded (may have to forego).

I am carefull to keep vacation savings separate from regular savings.
That way I know how much I want to spend, not feel guilty about spending it, and feel good about adding to it when possible.

Last time we went away was 1 year and 10 months ago. So by the time summer 2012 hits it will be almost 3 years.
And we did not have so much money to save with the baby, the pregnancy, the new apartment.

It is so sad.

And wow, he really held on to the very last day that he could before stepping away. It must have taken enormous willpower and dedication. He certainly didn't do that for the money, not at that stage. He had to know how close the end was and was trying to do the best he could.

I am normally not affected by death of "celebrities". But Steve Jobs is different. One of the few people left that one can admire.

It is in great condition and I priced it 30-40% of the original price, but no interest on big items that take up space such as swing and infant car seat, kicking coaster, baby bath tubs, etc... I don't know what to do, it is not like I priced them badly. And the car seat is a highly-rated by consumer reports, an extremely popular model. Never was in any incident, etc...

The only things I sold were the once I thought I would never sell, such as fleece bundler, JJ cole car seat cover, bumbo (small items).

Yesterday I sold a playmat for $25. But since my mom bought the baby this playmat for $75 I thought I'd give the money to her. So I am still at $0 for baby stuff sold this month.

Some info from US News and world report, some with my comment:

A person living in Manhattan needs to earn $123,322 a year to be considered middle class, the equivalent of a $72,772 salary in Boston and a $50,000 salary in Houston, the study says.

• The average rent is $2,800, which is 53 percent higher than San Francisco, the second-most expensive city in the country.

• The average apartment in Manhattan sells for more than $1.4 million (the median price is $900,000).

• New Yorkers pay higher taxes than people in any other major U.S. city, roughly 50 percent more than the average in other cities and nearly triple the U.S. average.
Yet somehow there is much less rage and much more acceptance of this than in places that pay barely any taxes at all. Seriously, the less taxes people pay the more mad they are about paying them.

• Young families that earn less and have little savings are also being hurt. A family of three earning $55,000 a year will have to pay nearly half of that income for early childhood care. Families making $100,000 will often pay more in day-care costs than they do in a monthly mortgage payment or rent.

Middle class friends that have more than 1 kid all have a grandparent that stays at home with them. Otherwise it is impossible. Only poor people can have multiple kids, for middle class it is out of reach. Kind of screwed up system.

• Electricity bills are higher in New York than anywhere in the nation except Hawaii. Residential electricity prices increased by 27 percent between 2002 and 2007.

Really? Second after Hawaii? Never even noticed that, because utility bills are not so significant in comparison to rent, childcare, transportation… if you are paying 3K a month for your 1.5 bedroom, 120 electric bill for said 1 bedroom will not be bothering you as much.

1. Raise chickens in your apartment.
Sure, some sticklers on your co-op board may try to stiffle your frugal ambitions, but you can argue that chicken can qualify as a pet just as much as useless, no egg bearing parrokee. If they persist in their objection, threaten to rescue 20 cats instead.

2. Poop at work
Think about it, when you do it at work, you are being paid to poop! 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there, it adds up.

3. Stop eating anything that does not come from dented cans.
Following Susie Orman's logic... Would you rather have this peach now or would you rather have $300 when you retire in 50 years? Is this peach worth $300? Is it???

4, Having children.
Time to re-think that popular-past time entirely.
Think of all the extra money you would have if instead of child rearing you were to spend those hours working a second job!

In general, children produce negative return on your investment. Unless, of course, you can't afford to support them in the first place, in which case, the more the better! With some knowledge of the welfare system you can generate an income steam to support them, yourself, and a dead-beat boyfriend.


5. Shower less often.
Once a week should be sufficient. Saves a lot of money on your water bill.
As an added benefit, it should save money by cutting down on your social life, which is an unnecessary luxury, especially if you have pesky friends who like to do things other than going to the park and the library.


----
There have been so many money-saving articles lately...

I thought we can add to these wonderful ideas with suggestions with our own, even more frugal.
These are a few to get the ball rolling, I'm sure you guys have more. Comment if you want to keep this up. We need something to liven the mood on Monday.

Are these 2 tendencies at odd with each other?
I am not talking about the extreme (yes, I do watch "Hoarders").
I'm talking about a mich milder version, like few unneeded boxes, overstuffed closets and dressers, etc...

You "may" need an item. It is a perfectly good item. There is no reason to throw it out, except you have not needed it in 2 years.
But what if you do? You'll have to go out and buy it again.

Same with clothing. I'd go "oh, I may gain/loose enough weight to wear it again"

Or you just don't like it. (but you paid "good money" for it). Or you got them as gifts. Oh, I hate those. I can't throw it away (they are brand new and I have a problem with this from an environmental standpoint) but I JUST DON"T WANT any candles, frames, diffusers or nicknacks. So into the cabinets they go.

Oh, I wish I could have a garage sale! you people are lucky to just be able to have them.

Anyway, my struggle is that I like zen like decor. Natural, not ornate, not cluttered space. But the frugal me is holding on to stuff that makes place less "zen" than I would like.

My mother-in-law just got back from a 3 week trip to Hong Kong and Japan, and since she missed my birthday she took us all to Dohyo at Yotel. (her suggestion) I liked it, I think both the restaurant and hotel are pretty cool. Overpriced, yes, but nice. Maybe a great deal for brunch.

We had a nice time, this place reminded me of some places we went to in Asia. I like the outdoor seating that is on higher floors, with city views and trendy interior. No problem bringing the baby (of course we went just after 7, not midnight.

This dinner got me thinking, we should not be that cautious going to places like this with a baby, especially considering how agreeable and sweet he is.

We had almost nothing in the fridge yesterday. Our moms have not visited for a long time (my since Sunday and DH's was out of the country for 3 weeks) so we did not go out grocery shopping since Sunday. (It is hard to get out shopping with the baby on a weekday -- by the time I get home it is almost time for baby to sleep).

And since we only cook fresh food we can only shop for a few days at a time.
Meats and produce don't last longer than that, and I don't know, I have something against freezing. Never done it, no one in my family ever did it, and even if irrational, frozen is not equals fresh to me. It associates with "very old" in my mind. I tried to freeze few times, but than I could never ever bring myself to use it. I just ended up throwing it out.

Anyhow, instead of ordering Indian or something like that, DH realized that we have ingredients for a recipe he has been meaning to try -- spicy stir-fried Japanese eggplant and cucumber.
He saw it in NYT and thought he'd give it a try.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/09/health/nutrition/09recipehealth.html

And after the baby went to sleep he made it. We had it as a main dish, it was delicious and healthy. I am glad we did not go out.
Next step will be trying Fish-flavored eggplant, I loved this dish when we lived in Sichuan during one of our semesters abroad, but here in the restaurants it inevitably disappoints.

Just posting some pics to prove it. And this is not in Manhattan. This is my favorite store in Westchester.

The selection and quality is great. And granted, these are premium items. But still, it is expensive for meat.

It is getting dark so early now. These are taken today on the walking part of my commute home, in the rain.

I like the rain.









(I'm putting my birthday gift to good use).

How much would a steakhouse dinner with a good bottle of wine cost?

I have not stepped foot in Peter Luger in like 2 years. Last time I went I thought they were going downhill meat-wise.

So, living in NY, I am lucky enough to be able to buy prime dry-aged beef. That's the kind that is so tender at a good steakhouse. ymmm...

It is $30 a lb, but still far less than $90 for "steak for 2" dish alone (plus the tip) at a steakhouse.
1lb was enough for both of us. I seared the outside to a little crunch, but cooked it rare, and it was buttery soft....

We had it with a bottle of good Malbec -- I bought a groupon to a wine shop, so I got a $60 for $30! (and I did check online that its price was not inflated).
So a $60 bottle and a restaurant mark-up could be 100%-300%.

To be completely honest though, in Argentina you could probably buy such bottle for like $13, from great small wineries who don't know how to market internationally.

When we were on our honeymoon, we had a bottle every day for 30 days straight, so we learned Malbec. I can't tell about other kinds of wine nearly as well.

For a side DH made swiss chard with his new recipe.

So total price for a few hundred dollar meal was $60. ($30 steak, $30 wine)

A spontaneous date-night dinner at home, with great dry-aged steak, lovely bottle of wine. and few hours of conversation on a normal Tuesday night... priceless.

We had our gorgeous river view, we did not need to get someone to watch the baby (baby went to sleep at 8 and we cooked everything in 20 minutes), and we could have as much wine and "stay" as we wanted (did not need to drive home).

I love doing this randomly for no reason. It brings us closer and and makes routine workweek a little more fun.

The only loans (besides the mammoth of a mortgage) we have is a car loan at 2% and a student loan at 2.13%(some of which is tax-deductible, which effectively makes it even less).

We could even pay them off if we used our savings, but we did not. Though I occassionally make an extra payment on my SL (irrational? emotional? I don't know).

But when I think of it, 2% is much less than the rate of the official inflation, let along the real one (for me, inflation should include gas and food, since we buy those a lot). So that money looses value every year. Does it make any financial sense to pay extra on such low interest loans? Am I missing something important?